CoachAbilities

Appreciating Family - A Thanksgiving Intention

2008-11-20T07:47:00.000-08:00

This time of year, families from all over the country get together to give thanks for everything they have, as a unit, and on an individual level.

Sometimes, these family reunions can stir up fear, angst, and a general nauseous feeling in some people. Knowing that the holidays approach, we think, "Do I really need to see Aunt Rita?" "I've never really liked my mother/father/sibling, and now I have to spend more time with them."

At this time, instead of the nervous, anxious family feelings, try to tap into the warm, tender feelings in relation to family. Perhaps think, "Wow, it's great that we can all get together like this. Who knows if it will be like this all the time."

This might be hard. It's hard for a lot of people. But there is nothing like a really nice family moment. When you look around at the people in the room and think, "This is really nice. Life is great."

You can have that moment. Maybe not all the time, but you can have those nice, family moments.

It starts with doing what you can to focus on the positives of the people in the room. No one is perfect, and you can't choose your family. But if you can see the light in them, if you can tap into the love that resides in the heart somewhere, then maybe, just maybe, this Thanksgiving will be different than the one before it.

Let's set the intention that this year is going to be pleasant. This year is going to be hopeful. This year we will have that moment when we look around the room and smile that warm happy feeling, and appreciate family. Because although we don't get to choose our family, it's also the only one we've got.

And unless we intend our lives in advance, today, days before we even think about traveling for the holidays, it becomes that much harder to achieve.

Have a happy Holiday Season!

Election Thoughts: Yes You Can!

2008-11-05T06:15:00.000-08:00

Last night we all witnessed history. This was an amazing election. A lot was on the line, but the party who owned terms like "Change" and "Yes We Can" resonated most with the American voters. The candidate who promised great changes won, with a message of optimism and with great hope for our future.

All across the country, people are hypnotized by our new President. President-Elect Obama has taken a cult-like following among people of all races and all creeds. Even people from other countries have fallen in love with our new President. There have been many tears of joy shed, as people expect and know and feel that our new President will change things as they are. Many truly and sincerely believe that he will lead us into a new world of peace, prosperity, and happiness.

But at the end of the day, real peace, real happiness, and most importantly, real change - lies within.

The odds are more likely than not that a change in power will not change most of our lives. America is a great country in that we have a party in power peacefully handing off that power to another party elected by the people.

However, the economy is often cyclical. Things are bad now, but they will most likely be good again. Our new President might do all he can to change what he can, and I truly hope he does.

But on an individual level, in our lives, if we truly want change, we need to look inside ourselves. We need to start making the decisions that will change ourselves. We might have cried when our new President was elected, but he is not going to come into your house or into your heart and change you.

You must change you.

If change is something you want, if you really want a better, happier, you - then take stock. Look deep inside. What is not working for you? What can you do to change it? Because I guarantee that even if you contributed to President Obama's campaign, he will not sit with you, hold your hand, and change your life. Only you can change you.

Do you want to change your relationships? Yes you can.

Do you want to change your financial situation? Yes you can.

Do you want to stop being a victim? Yes you can.

And for the most part - only you can. If you are feeling lost, feel free to contact one of the coachabilities coaches to learn more about the things you can do. Yes, the sky is the limit for you, but it must be you and only you.

Today, on this historic date, we all hope that our new President will lead us into happier times. That he will change the way things are done in our Nation's Capitol.

But let's make this a day that we decide and know that only real change can take place if we look inside ourselves, see what is not working, decide to change it, and yell at the top of your lungs -

Yes I can!

2008-11-05T06:05:00.000-08:00

Change Is In The Air

Wow! Incase you were living under a rock for the last 12 hours, we have just elected the first African American President! What an amazing time for our country. Whether you voted for Obama or McCain, you can't help but feel like anything is possible in this day and age. This is indeed a time of change for our country.

But many times we are faced with a dramatic change that may have not been our choice. Divorce, loss of job, moving, empty nesters....the list goes on. But when faced with change, how are you going to deal with it. Are you going to feel sorry for yourself and sulk or are you going to take the opportunity to create a new, more fulfilling life for yourself?

Look at your situation as a gift if you can. A gift that enables you to reinvent who you are and what you want to be in this world. Take time to really notice what motivates you.

What are you passionate about?

Are you an exercise and fitness nut?
Are you artistic?
Perhaps you are passionate about a global cause or issue.

Really take time to think about what it is your love to do. What would your dream day look like?

Examine your strengths.

Are you good with numbers?
Do you write well?
Can you lead people effectively?

List all your accomplishments over the past 5-10 years.

Think about ways that you can combine your passions and dreams with your strengths and skills to create a life that empowers you.

Be proud of all that you have accomplished so far and realize that you are equipped with a great set of tools to face whatever the world has to offer. So instead of sulking and feeling like a victim of change, take this time to reassess where you've been and where you want to go. All you have to do is believe in yourself.

It is often said, "Seeing is Believing" but I would like you to think about "Believing is Seeing." If you believe you can achieve your goal, then you will see yourself reaching that goal. You just need to look at the election votes to realize just how true this can be.

So How Do You Want to Feel on January 1, 2009?

2008-11-02T13:32:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend. I've been giving some thought to the questions I posted on Friday and I thought I would share my own answers on how to survive the holiday eating fest.

How do I want to feel on January 1, 2009?

I don't want to have any regrets about how I managed my weight during the holidays. I want to feel confident and in control.

What steps am I going to take to make that happen?

I'm going to continue doing what I'm doing now. For exercise I walk 30 minutes 5 days a week. I don't see any reason why I won't be able to continue with my routine. Walking makes me feel good! I will continue to choose foods that I like and that satisfy me and I will continue to practice safe portion control.

OK, it's reasonable to assume that unless you are hosting a party or having the family over for Thanksgiving you won't always be in control of your food choices at this time of year. But that doesn't mean all is lost because remember - we are always in complete control over how much food we put in our mouths. It is our own hands that place the food in our own mouths. Do you love apple pie a la mode? Then go ahead and have a small portion and don't use a soup ladle to measure out a serving of ice cream. Take a tablespoon instead and eat it slowly so you can appreciate the flavors, textures and temperatures.

Make a resolution now that you will have no need to make any resolutions on January 1, 2009!

Later Mashed Potater!

The Holiday Season is Upon Us

2008-10-31T13:28:00.000-07:00

For me, Halloween has always been the gateway to the holiday season. Come October 31 - let the food games begin! People start dusting off their pumpkin pie recipes, and " oh where did I put the pie plates" can be heard from New York to California. This is the ultimate Comfort Food Season!

So how do we enter this time of year without the usual panic about overindulgence? I find that having a plan gets me through the holiday season (a.k.a. "the eating olympics) with my self-esteem intact and my belt notch none the wiser.

Start by asking yourself the following 2 questions:

How do I want to feel on January 1, 2009?
What do I need to do to make sure that happens?

Go ahead - write down your answers and share your thoughts here. Oh, and don't forget to check back on Sunday for my answers to the questions!

Boo!

Coach Judy

Action Negates Anxiety

2008-10-30T13:11:00.000-07:00

Coach Alec has inspired me to participate in our blog space here at CoachAbilities.com as often as possible so into action I go! I am a bit intimidated by this blogging technology stuff and yet I recently accepted a sales position for a new web site so I'm hoping to be proficient in no time. It's invigorating to stretch yourself to go outside your comfort zone. Break through that proverbial wall to achieve all that you want in life. It's all possible and just waiting for you to participate too. What's outside your comfort zone?

When "That Guy" Cuts You Off on the Road

2008-10-30T06:44:00.000-07:00

You wake up. You're ready to face the day. You take a nice shower, brush your teeth. Feeling good.

You get into your car. Look in the mirror. You're thinking about all the wonderful things that will happen, how your meeting will go well, how your family might be doing. Turn on the radio. Stocks are actually up today, look at that!

You change the channel, you want to hear some music. Your favorite song comes on the radio - wow, things are going well!

You get on the highway. Humming that wonderful tune.

Then - BAM! The guy in front of you cuts you off. You start yelling and screaming as loud as you can. "Hey you jerk - you can't do that. What the heck is wrong with you!"

You still yell and scream and when it's all over, when the guy has whizzed back into the ether of the universe, you are left upset thinking, "man, why did this happen? Today is going to be a terrible day." And so it is.

Which leads us to the question of the day. What do you do when that guy cuts you off on the road? What is the point on working on ourselves when that guy in the road comes and takes it all away?

Perhaps the most important thing in these types of situations - and they happen all the time, be it some guy on the road, or some bump on the road of life - the most important thing in those situations is - Perspective.

Gain perspective. Notice that you are upset. Notice that things were going well, but then this situation happened to change that. When that guy cuts you off and you get upset and start decompressing, stop. Just stop. Watch yourself. The results might surprise you.

Because when you watch yourself, when you are truly present in a moment you start understanding what is really important. You might start to think, "I was feeling pretty nice before. Things are going well. Maybe that guy is just a little tired, or perhaps in a hurry for a big meeting. Or even if he is just a really nasty guy, I was happy before and I can't let this (insert evil name of choice) mess up or ruin my perfectly good day."

Sometimes in life all we need to do is watch ourselves. Because when you start watching yourself, when you take yourself off auto-pilot and start being present in your life, you can start to control your own destiny. You can say, "wow, that thought I just had is really not productive for me. Normally, I would just hear that thought in my mind and have it effect me without noticing it. But right now I do notice it, and I have the power to change it."

Notice yourself. Notice the good. Notice the bad. Notice it all.

Because once you start noticing yourself, you start to realize you have the power to change, to be the person who smiles more, laughs more, loves more.

Notice your life, gain perspective, and enjoy the ride. Just try not to cut anyone off in the process.

Staying Positive in an Increasingly Negative World

2008-10-29T07:46:00.000-07:00

Everywhere you turn, every newspaper you open, almost any website you see, you hear the word, you see the word - crisis. World crisis, financial crisis, crisis here, crisis there. Crisis everywhere.

Our world is becoming increasingly negative. And as the world becomes more negative, as we immerse ourselves in this negativity, our lives become smaller. Our perspectives become a little more gray. As that happens, negativity and depression start to engulf us, and eventually manifest in our lives.

Do you know what I mean? Are things not really that bad for you, but as the world tells you how terrible things are and as the times have been shifting you see your options, you see your mind expand less and depress more?

For me, thankfully, with so much gratitude, my financial situation is not dire. But the more I read about a crisis, the more I see it on television, the more upset thinking starts to invade my consciousness and manifest in unfortunate ways. For instance, my apartment in New York City was broken into recently. My "super" said it has never happened in the building since he has been working there.

Yet, I was not surprised. Just as a crisis has invaded the planet and we are completely inundated with that word and what it represents, I let it invade my space and the negative effects are apparent.

And so what do we do? How do we ensure that we can get back to positive thinking, in this increasingly negative world?

Last night, the coaches from CoachAbilities discussed this very issue. We came up with some solutions, and the one I think that might be most pertinent for us is this:

Create a discipline whereby you compel yourself to bask in, visualize, and feel positivity and positive thinking. Especially now, we cannot let other people and circumstances dictate our lives. We need to grab the bull by the horns and say to ourselves, or perhaps shout to whoever will listen:

I am going to be positive in the face of all of this. I am going to be a pillar, a bastion of positivity. I am going to be grateful for what I have. I am going to thank G-d, the universe, whoever I desire, for everything he/she/it has given me. I am going to make time to embrace all the good in my life. I am going to feel this good, I am going to make sure I feel this good daily. Every day. And as I allow this good to take over my heart and soul the negativity from everywhere else has no effect or affect or resonance with me.

I am a positive person. I will remain positive. In the face of all of this, I am a pillar of positivity. I am a light for everyone I meet. I make sure that my light is burning brightly, and I will share my light with the world. This is why I am here. This is why we are all here.

Create a discipline. Don't say, "aww, I'm too tired." "I'm not in the mood." "Do I really need to?" Because every time you say that, you allow the forces of the world to creep in and whisper words of negativity.

Say no - now.

Gird yourself for the long road ahead, so that when the adversity comes, you are armed and ready to live the life you know you deserve.

My hope for you, for me, for the world, is that we become pillars of positivity, and change the world one emotion at a time.

Don't wait for tomorrow

2008-09-25T09:59:00.000-07:00

As I was being wheeled in to surgery this week so many feelings were running through me. I was very nervous and scared to be put under. I didn't know what to expect. I just hope the doctors would get all the abnormal cells out and I would be fine once again. My kids, I miss my kids.

You see, a few weeks ago, I was given the news that I am at a seriously high risk for cervical cancer. That if I do not get the offending cells removed immediately, chances are extremely high that it would lead to invasive cervical cancer. But wait a minute, I haven't reached my dreams and goals yet! I just started this really awesome coaching program, I have so many ideas that I haven't put in place yet. I'm just thinking about my website. This can't be happening to me, I don't have time for this now. But each subsequent test that I was given kept pointing me in the same direction, this is happening and it's happening now.

What would you do if faced with a similar diagnosis? Would you wish that you had accomplished more? Are there people in your life you need to connect with? What about your life long dreams, are you working toward them?

Well, the procedure went well and I am recovering nicely, just waiting patiently for the pathology results. Being optimistic and using the law of attraction, I am envisioning perfect health for myself from this day on. But one thing I have learned is not to wait for your dreams, don't put off trying to reach your goals. You never know what tomorrow will bring while you are planning your life. Sometimes that phone rings and suddenly your life takes a detour. What will you do then? Don't let it be too late. Live today with no regrets. Live your dream now.

Goodbye Yankee Stadium - and Thank You

2008-09-23T10:38:00.000-07:00

On Sunday night I watched the last game ever in Yankee Stadium. I was quite surprised how emotional I felt watching the game. I'm a big Yankee fan, always have been. But for some reason I was not a good fan this year. At least not to her, the Stadium.

I did not go to one game this year. Not one. And this was the last season of the Stadium. I justified it by saying, "They don't deserve me," "the prices are too high," "this team doesn't care, they don't have that Yankee pride," but what I failed to realize is that this season wasn't about the Yankees. They won't even make the playoffs.

This season was about history. Legacy. Pride. Tradition. In a word, this season was about:

Her.

The Stadium.

I think it's fitting that the Yanks weren't even good enough to make the playoffs. Because we would remember this year for the post season. Instead of all the memories that we will never forget.

In 2003 I was at that Aaron Boone game, Game 7 against the Red Sox. And I was there with my Dad and my cousin. It was one of the greatest moments of my life and I'll never forget it. I owe that memory to the stadium, I owe one last final goodbye.

And so, Yankee Stadium, thank you for everything. Thank you for the good times, the bad times, the great times. Thank you for the memories that I will take with me wherever I go. You were truly one of the most amazing cathedrals I have ever experienced, and I will never forget what you meant to me, what you will always mean to me.

Thank you Yankee Stadium, and Goodbye.

Weighty Issues

2008-09-21T14:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I bought a red pleather recliner. It's the most happiest chair on earth - kind of like Chairy from Pee Wee's play house. That's it! I'm going to name my pleather recliner Chairy. Now, let me tell you, I usually have an adverse reaction when people name inanimate objects, but any chair that hugs and rocks you and tells you that life is wonderful deserves a name.

For those of you who came to this blog expecting to read something about coaching or weight management thank you for your patience while I swooned over Chairy. Now for the moment you've been waiting for!

We're all buzzing after Mod II last weekend. What an awesome group of people! We did lots of coaching, lots of laughing and lots of reflection. Gremlin show-and-tell was an experience on many different levels. We are a creative bunch, I'll tell you that! My gremlin is a Barbie doll named Barbie (it just has to be!) with electrical tape over her mouth. Dear readers, if you understand why Barbie is my gremlin then we are truly kindred spirits. Raise your hand if your gremlin is also a fictional representation of perfection who tells you how you will never measure up. Don't listen to that nonsense. The next time you find her sitting on your shoulder try one of the following gremlin antidotes:

tell her to go back to her Playhouse - Ken and Skipper are waiting for her.
shout SHUT UP BARBIE!!! (just make sure no one else is around)
cut her hair and tell her not to worry...it'll grow back (hahahahahahaha)
remind her that she's plastic!

If you get a chance to try any of the above, please report back. Or, if you have any other gremlin antidotes I would love to hear about them!

Chow for now.

Judy